Ah yes, the Golden Rules of Dumball, the sacred commandments that keep the chaos in some kind of order. Follow these, and you’ll survive the rally – probably:
1. It’s Not a Race!
You might think your banger’s got some speed, but remember: it’s about getting there, not how fast you get there. Besides, if you rush, you’ll miss the breakdowns and hilarious detours.
2. Don’t Be a D*ckhead!
The most important rule of Dumball. This applies to other teams, locals, and their cars. Practical jokes are great, but don’t take it too far. It’s all fun until someone ends up crying over their dented wing mirror.
3. Raise Money for Charity
You’re here to have fun, but also to raise some serious cash. Every team needs to raise at least £1,000 per person for the Teenage Cancer Trust or War Child. It’s for a great cause, so no skimping!
4. Convoy or Die
The Dumball magic happens when you’re in a convoy. Stick together, communicate through your walkies, and for the love of glitter cannons, don’t lose the group unless you enjoy being lost in a foreign country!
5. Respect the Locals
Whether you’re in a sleepy French village or stuck in Gibraltar with a monkey on your bonnet, remember: we’re here to entertain, not upset. Make the locals think we’re mad, not bad.
6. Have a Designated Driver (Des)
Each leg of the journey must have one poor soul who remains sober. It’s all fun and games until you’re chatting to a traffic cop who doesn’t appreciate your cocktail of energy drinks and booze.
7. No Sat-Nav? No Problem!
Maps are encouraged because let’s face it, getting lost is half the fun. But if you’re the type who still uses a compass, maybe keep that Sat-Nav handy as a backup. We don’t need you ending up in Romania.
8. Be Ready for Anything
Dumball is unpredictable – the only thing you can predict is something going wrong. Whether it’s your car breaking down or getting lost, embrace the chaos and make the most of every “oh crap” moment.
9. Challenges Are Life
Each day there’s a challenge, so bring your A-game. Whether it’s selfies in the Eurotunnel or convincing a French local to do the can-can, the more ridiculous, the better. Challenges are the key to Dumball immortality!
10. Respect the Banger
Treat your car like the precious scrap heap it is. It’s not making it back home, but try to get it to the finish line with dignity – or as much dignity as a glitter-covered, duct-taped monstrosity can have.
11. Laugh at Yourself
When your costume rips, your engine conks out, or you accidentally detour into a sheep field – laugh. Because if you’re not laughing, you’re doing it wrong.
